Wickensworth: The Interview
In an effort to learn more about Wickensworth, the owl seen above in this rare photo, I recently conducted a special one-on-one interview with him. Here's the complete transcript:
So is Wickensworth your first name or your last name?
LOL! Itís just my name! LOL!
Iím speaking with you in person. You donít need to say ďLOL.Ē I
can see you laughing.
Uh, right. So where are you from?
Wickensworth: Originally, Iím from a tree somewhere, or maybe even a barn. I donít recall exactly, because I was only, like, zero years old. What did you expect me to say? I'm a fucking owl.
Eric: What kind of music do you listen to?
Wickensworth: I've been getting really into Lil' Bow Wow's earlier shit. You know, the underground stuff he did before he sold out. Also, lately I've had S Club 7's new disc spinning in my CD player 24-7. Other than that, I listen to everything from Britney Spears to Mandy Moore. I even have some of Christina Aguilera's CDs.
Eric: That's quite a variety.
Eric: Dude, if you say that one more time I'm going to smack you.
Wickensworth: (Pause). LOL!
Eric: (Long pause). What is your job title exactly? You always just seem to stare out at people. How much do you get paid?
Wickensworth: I'm not sure. I just wandered in one day and sat down in a random chair. Nobody asked me to leave because my suit makes me look important and adorable at the same time. Don't you just want to put me in your pocket?
Eric: The last time I got within ten feet of you, you tried to bite me.
Wickensworth: LOL! I thought you were a mice.
Eric: Oh, yeah, very funny, you thought I was "a mice." You are insane, do you know that?
Wickensworth: You're the one talking with a drawing of an owl, asshead.
Eric: (Very long pause). Good point. What is your favorite TV show?
Wickensworth: Three words: Muppet Babies! It's a cartoon about the Muppets--before they were stars!
Eric: Dude, that's a kid's show.
Wickensworth: LOL! Gonzo is my favorite. He has a funny nose!
Eric: I'm ending this interview right now.
Wickensworth: Awww! Why?
Eric: Because you're being retarded. I don't think you're taking this interview very seriously.
Wickensworth: LOL! You're such a mice.
(End of Interview)