5-31-00

Despite the contentions of one Todd Alperovitz, who shall remain nameless, Chris, Owen and I are not being jackasses to total strangers. All we're doing is making a political statement via filming our humorous exploits around downtown. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right, damnit.

Apparently there are only two more days of school for seniors. While this may appear to be unfair for juniors, I'd like to add that they got to take both the SATs and ACTs this year, as well as having to wake up early for a whole week to take the MEAPs. Plus, they got to finish the insulting Driver's Ed requirements to get their license, while also making sure to keep their GPA up. And they get to take finals in a few weeks. So it all evens out.

Ha, just kidding, juniors. Now just put down that baseball bat . . . easy. . . . Ow! Stop beating me! I'm sorry! Ow! Damn!

At any rate, the new poll this week is an important one, as it involves naming The Owl. What do you want its name to be?

5-26-00

To make a long story short, I learned never to put a squirrel in my pants without first making sure it doesn't have rabies.

Anyway, the big hypothetical fight between Kangas and Jonx has really heated up. Many people are probably cheating and voting multiple times in one day, but that's OK with me. Just remember that the voting ends this Sunday.

On an unrelated topic, me and Todd are planning on infiltrating Quality 16 from the inside in hopes of assuring that they show the quiz before each and every showing. Basically, we're going to apply for jobs there, so come down and say hi during the summer. If you don't know what I look like, just look for the person getting fired.

Now, several questions could arise regarding us getting a job at Quality 16. For example: "Why?" Or perhaps: "What the hell's wrong with you?" In short, I feel that, by getting a job at Quality 16, I'll have made a statement on the oppression of giraffes in modern-day China. And that, of course, is a goal worth striving towards.

5-22-00

Earlier today, I purchased a harmonica. It was really weird of me to do that, and, frankly, I'm a bit confused. I walked out of MediaPlay and was like, "Wait, did I just purchase a harmonica? What? I don't want a harmonica." And I know, reading the last few sentences, it almost seems like I'm kidding. Sadly, however, that's not the case; I just paid $25 for a new harmonica for no reason whatsoever. And hell if I know how to play it.

Tomorrow the physics classes are going to Cedar Point. I have about a 7% chance of actually waking up before we leave at 7:15am, but, should I make it on time, it might be fun. Actually, probably not. If I do wake up that early, I'll be tired as all get-out. Steve said we could sleep on the bus, but you can't sleep on a bus. That's like driving a bed.

Me, Chris D and Krazy Owen (and Todd, for a little while) have been filming our oftentimes hilarious adventures around town lately, including: Buying an ice cream cone from a ice cream truck while driving, digging through somebody's cart at Home Depot while they watch in confusion, and making fun of the people at the McDonald's drive-through. So if you want to watch the tape, give us lots of money.

Ah, as for the newest poll . . . I don't know, I've been sensing some bad vibes between Kangas and Jonx lately. I think they're going to brawl at any time, and so I'm trying to figure out who to put my money on. And don't try voting twice in one day&emdash;I'm not allowing that this week.

5-17-00

Apparently there's some kind of forum trip tomorrow. We're going camping, and it's probably going to rain. What is it with the weather lately? Anyway, I don't expect that this trip should be too fun. That's why I have to think of a way to cause some kind of a ruckus. The nice thing about a good ruckus is that you can use them to stir up trouble, and thus make things entertaining. Actually, I don't really know what a ruckus is, but I do suspect they're a good thing to cause.

Speaking of ruckuses, my little sister went crazy and signed people's guestbooks. Those Karjala kids sure are weird! Hey, wait a minute . . .

You know, I don't want this update to be too long, but there's one more thing I have to rant about. Here at the LRC computer lab, we have these e-mail express computers which sometimes have that old screen saver where you get to watch the fish swim back and fourth. Now, would somebody please tell me what the hell those flying toasters are doing in the bloody ocean?! OK, maybe I can understand a toaster swimming in the ocean. But it's flying! You don't fly in the ocean! Especially if you're a toaster!

Ah, well. If you would like to know a little more about the owl at the top of the page, click here.

5-14-00

Hey, smooth new design, Todd. I'd like to see more S club 7 news and character bios, but otherwise it's solid.

You know what I hate? I hate when you purchase a movie ticket, walk into the theater, and then realize with shock that they are not showing the quiz. It's like, why bother, you know? The quiz is why people see movies, and if it's not there . . . well, let's just say that I'm plenty pissed when that happens to me. I mean, I don't want to see a movie, I want to be asked how many gigawatts the time-machine in the Back to the Future needs in order to operate. I don't want to witness an interesting plot and clever dialogue, I want to ponder over how many decades Jack Nicholson's career has spanned. Let's get our act together, Quality 16.

5-10-00

It's a good thing a tree branch came down and shattered the back windshield of my car during the storm early Tuesday morning, because otherwise I might be able to conveniently travel from place to place instead of waiting for my car to get fixed. Thankfully, now I'll have to take the AATA bus home from school for a few days, which is great because all the cool kids ride the bus.

But never mind my car--the real crime of the storm was in forcing MediaOne to air about 50 of those storm warning messages during a brand-new episode of Buffy. For some ungodly reason, MediaOne can't just flash the warning across the screen for a few seconds like any normal cable company. No, they have to have some guy talk for ten minutes about how there may be a storm passing over the area. No really, dumbass? Is that why there's lighting outside? Man, thanks for the tip. Without that kind of newsflash, I don't know how I would have figured out there was a storm outside.

On an unrelated topic, I downloaded that ICQ thing after getting hooked up to the "inter-net." My number, apparently, is 73582635. Whatever that means.

5-6-00

So I got my new computer yesterday. When I woke up this morning, that thing had made me an All-American breakfast with a side-order of biscuits. The eggs were a little salty, but otherwise it was a good meal.

Thursday in gym, we had to run the mile, and I was all, "Hey, what's up with this?" The thing I don't like about running is that the faster you run, the more like shit you feel like afterword. I think feeling like shit is your body's way of telling you, "Hey, dumbass! Don't run so fast!" I mean, we really don't need to run anymore. That's why they invented hoverboards.

5-2-00

Dang, I'm suprised at the percentage of people who voted for "magenta" as their favorite color. You kids sure like your magenta.