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12-13-00

It snowed about eighty feet the other day, which I think is pretty funny. I mean, can you imagine that some poor bastards out there actually have to walk through that crap to take final exams? Just the thought of that is cause for laughter. Though come to think of it, I'd hate it if I were in their shoes. Luckily, however, this isn't the case.

Well, it seems as though George W. Bush is officially the President-Elect. Buckle up, kids--it's going to be one crazy roller-coaster ride of a four years. Just think of all those Cabinet Meetings and Riveting public addresses and Court Vetoes and--you know, come to think of it, it's not going to be all that exciting. Except, of course, for all of Cheney's crazy antics. That man is the life of America's party.

Anyway, I won't be able to update until January-ish due to my merciful absence of a nearby internet connection over winter break. So, basically, everybody should have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Oh, and you Jews should enjoy whatever the hell you guys celebrate, too.

12-9-00

I was watching MSNBC the other day, and was startled to hear that there appears to be some kind of dispute over this year's presidential election. I don't know if you guys have heard about this, but it seems that both Mr. Al Gore and George W. Bush appear to think they have won the presidency. I'm just shocked that these events haven't really garnered any media coverage. I mean, it's been over a month since the voting process began--how come there's been no information about this development in any of the papers? If it were up to me, that would be the only story on all the news channels all the time, and it would be on the front page of every paper everyday, even if the headline had to be something like "Third State Court of Lower-East Florida Accepts Appeal from Bush to Reject Fourth Recount of The Eighth Supreme Court of Palm Beach County's Previous Court Decision." That would be pretty sweet--why can't we have that?

Well, it continues to be cold and snowy these days. Luckily, it should start warming up in January and be about 80 degrees by February, if I remember the seasons correctly. That's how it was last year, I think. I mean, it's not like it will be cold until March or April, right? Ha, ha. That would suck if it were like that.

Now would somebody inform me what these "Finals" are that all my professors keep talking about? Is that some kind of end-of-semester in-class party we get to go to? If so, next week--"Finals Week"--is going to be pretty damned awesome. I can't wait until "Finals Week."

12-7-00

I could do without a different phone company calling me every three minutes to inform me of this hot new savings rate they have. Here's their shtick: As soon as you pick up, they go on this ten-minute tirade of propagandic jargon, to which you obviously respond, once finally given the chance, "Sorry, pal, I'm not interested." But here's where they piss me off. After you say you don't give a slice of crap about their services, they ask you again, only with a reworded version of their initial marathon-length question. "Are you aware that we have special rates for long distance fees that occur on Sundays to Japan, a country whose GDP per capita was an estimated $23,400 in 1999, which incidentally was a year many analysts are already citing as the highest rate of growth for--" That's where I like to cut them off and be like, "No means no, Iowa Calling Service Agency."

But now other people have started calling me and asking me if I have a summer job lined up for the summer, and then talking about this bizarre pyramid scheme they got suckered into and expect me to fall for as well, so that they can get another 9 cents for every ten people I get to paint a house or something. I'd like to tell them to go get a real job--preferably one that doesn't involve waking me up at all hours of the afternoon.

12-2-00

My computer hadn’t been working due to, I suspect, some type of self-esteem issue it had been having. However, after several self-help classes and a few swift smackings, it is back in the swing of things, so if you need to ICQ me, look me up. We’ll do the “chat” thang.